Thursday 28 June 2007

Homophobic England?

Just returned from my lunch swimming break and I'm totally discomposed by what I experienced in the male changing room. No worries guys, I am safe... nobody dropped his soape in the bath and asked me to pick it up ;-)
But I observed a fact which I am witnessing all 3 years of my well-being in UK. In the male changing room full of guys people are ashamed to strip down their cloth. Guys cover themselves with towels in order to put on swimming trunks. I mean maybe some of you just flew over my last sentence but let me break it down for you - guys cover themselves up from other guys... Did the grotesqueness of this situation get into your head?
I see it here much more frequently than back home. I mean back home there are some odd ones out too but it is not such a massive trend like on this beautiful island.
What did go wrong in the mental build-up of the average young male Brit in order to exhibit such sick behaviour pattern as this. I am puzzled on that one.
Another parade example is my shared house - if I am running around topless than I'll be confronted with eternal discussions about amorality of my behaviour... Am I pervert or something (I'll track down every buffoon who might find it funny to reply exactly on this question of mine).
Might this picture give some hint on what went wrong?

Chat-up line that guaranteed works

Folks, I have it in my guts... this chat-up line will work. If were female I would bite on that:

"Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stress! ed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going."

And here my fellow predators is what your pray might replay... just a small sample (own experience included):
  • **** "NO" **** (Just that one word)
  • "Do you have to work very hard at being a *****, or does it just come naturally?"
  • "I don't know what your problem is, but it will be hard to pronounce I guess."
  • "In this fantasy world of yours, do you have any magical powers?"
  • this is the hardest of all of them "you live with your mom still, right?"
If you are still desperate here is more of this stuff.

Wednesday 27 June 2007

The coolest dog ever

Ok because the feedback on my doggy was so smashing and enthusiastic here are some more extremely fabulous out-takes.

Folks, honestly, it is just unbelievable how far the trust and patience of the so called men's best friend goes. My Hulk would have gone out of me after the first picture... if I were my dog ;-)

Clever clocks in a few steps

Always wanted to be a clever clocks, a whippersnapper or just simply a smart a** in your academic papers? The feeling most academic wannabes know all too well...
Here is what you need my desperate and struggling academic friend - this page lists direct English translations of common Latin phrases, such as veni vidi vici and et cetera. Some of the phrases are themselves translations of Greek phrases, as Greek rhetoric and literature reached its peak centuries before that of Ancient Rome.
So, happy pretending!

Tuesday 26 June 2007

Cats and Dogs

We watched it over 50 times in the department... just fabulous

Honestly, why shouldn't I upload my dog's videos to You Tube?... I wouldn't say my dog can't be ranked behind any of videos the have there. I'll tell you even more - it is even far better! Just check out his usual "chill out and don't even think about touching me" position.

Monday 25 June 2007

Academa vs. Industry

Hello folks,
here is an issue which burdens lots of us in the final year of your abhorred PhD: "what shall I do afterwards dude?"
A good question indeed and I don't know many from my friend's circle who planned their career after PhD assiduously already during their PhD.
Here are are couple of links which might be interesting for these of you who are still trying to find the right way:
If anybody has got a really good tip about how to make a final decision in order not to regret it later on... they can email it to me ;-)

Sunday 24 June 2007

Different perspective

Got this sent from a friend and couldn't stop laughing for a while. So for these of you who can read a bit of Russian here is a really good review of some countries with respect to a little bit different Russian perspective:
Гардероб это Китай. Да, Вы можете говорить кому угодно HUGO BOSS, COVALLI, GUCCI (показывает фигу) КИ-ТАЙ. Антресоли, антресоли это Монголия, потому что нихрена не понятно, что там лежит, что там происходит, вообще нихрена не понятно. Кухня, кухня это Ближний Восток, потому что там постоянно, что-то готовится все на ножах, постоянный фарш, мясо по стенам, слезы, сопли и в центре этого диктатор, который воняет химическим оружием. Если Вы живете с тещей, то комната тещи это США. Открываем дверь - вот оно, тупое лицо руководителя государства. А если Вы только сунетесь на Ближний Восток, ЖОПА, война обеспечена. Туалет, туалет это Голландия. Потому что неровно положенный кафель постоянно напоминает Вам, что его клали какие-то пида#$%ы. Телевизор, телевизор это Украина. Потому что пульт управления гуляет по рукам, поэтому каждую минуту на Украине новая программа. Кот, если у Вас живет кот, то это Прибалтика. Ест на халяву, пьет на халяву, мелко пакостит и делает вид, что нихрена не понимает по-русски. Холодильник это Евросоюз, чего там только нет, и вроде бы все лежит аккуратно, по полочкам, но обязательно что-то одно воняет. Как только жрать нечего, сразу все лезут в Евросоюз, и Прибалтика тоже сует туда свой нос. Балкон это Египет. Нигде в мире Вы не найдете большего количества древностей, причем этого говна там целые пирамиды. Старый молоток, старый молоток это Люксембург. А где он? Да х** его знает, где он! Гараж это Париж. В центре стоит большая груда железа, под которой можно трахаться часами. И собственно Вы во всем этом Россия. До поры до времени улыбаемся США. Кормим Прибалтику. Боретесь за право обладания пультом управления Украины. Соприкасаетесь с Евросоюзом. Но сдохнуть хочется в Париже")))))))

Saturday 23 June 2007

Bewerbung und Ihr Alter...

Eine der Sachen die mich wirklich zum Wahnsinn treibt ist der Bewerbungprozess in Deutschland. Ich habe gerade zwei Anmeldungen zum Workshop rausgeschickt. Die eine ging an ein englisches Unternehmen und die andere an ein deutsches. Irgendwie gaben sich die Engländer mit einem simplen CV zufrieden und die Landsmänner wollten ihren verfestigten Klischees treu bleiben - komplette Bewerbungmappe samt Motivationsschreiben war gefragt (ich meine das ist doch nur ein Workshop… wozu die ganzen Formalitäten?!).

Dazu kommt noch der Anforderungsprofil... Es war ein international agierendes Unternehmen welches jemanden haben wollte, der folgendem Profil entspricht: Hochschulausbildung, Berufserfahrung erwünscht, ,internationale Praktika, Lust auf …(Null-acht-fünfzehn Auflistung) und bereit ist sich im Jahresrhythmus zu dislozieren (Familie ausgeschlossen per se). Jetzt kommt aber etwas, was mehr als 90% der Studienabgänger in Deutschland vollkommen in Schatten stellt - "der Kandidat soll nicht älter als 23 sein".
Die Anforderungen an sich wären ja noch zu erfühlen aber nicht die Altersgrenze. Für die englischen Verhältnisse ist es sogar ganz gut möglich weil man hier schon mit 22 einen BA in der Tasche hat und feste auf den Beinen stellt.
Der Beispiel sollte nur verdeutlichen, dass Deutschland zwar gute Arbeitskräfte produziert (die überall gerne gesehen werden) allerdings diese in einem, für westeuropäischen Arbeitsmarkt, benachteiligtem Alter in das offene Meer schickt.

Relativity Theory

Undoubtfully the best explanation of the relativity theory was given by the men who forged it in the first hand (my apologies to the physicists if this statement might call some chunter):
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."
Albert Einstein
03/14/1879 - 04/18/1955
Nobel Prize Laureate (Physics)

Check out this link for more food for thoughts from Albert Einstien.

Friday 22 June 2007

Tribute to all newcomers in UK

This has been said many time and I'd like to add my 5 cent to this discussion too. What is it all about these separated water taps in the bathroom - you either burn yourself or you get frostbites. There is absolutely no Nash equilibrium whatsoever.
Apparently there is a story of central cold water supply long time ago in Britain and all people having their own water tanks on their roofs. In order to prevent contamination of the main water supply it was prohibited to use mixer in your bath.
Having have said that I have to admit that in nearly 3 years of living over here I haven't seen these water tanks anywhere (not even in the deep countryside). So, returning to the rhetoric question at the start - why separated water taps.